, , , ,

When the most fashionable thing that you have recently bought for yourself is a pink polka-dotted bathrobe, somehow you just know that this is a new phase in life!!

About a year before I became pregnant, I finally came to a point in my life where I was comfortable with my body.  I finally managed to find that perfect balance between healthy eating and exercising, while allowing for some moments of indulgence. (Certain unhealthy foods just make life so much more delicious!!)  I was happy with my weight, thus I felt good about myself, thus my husband was happy. 🙂  However, now I find all this has come to a crashing halt! I am 30 weeks along, and although everyone says I look great, I can’t help feeling like they are all lying to me.  I feel big and awkward, and I find myself mourning for the body I had pre-pregnancy. I have even found myself staring at my closet wondering if I will ever wear some of the clothes that I love. Fashion is a bit of a passion for me, yet now I’m limited to maternity wear, which is a little depressing. (Okay…so maybe I’m a bit of a shopaholic…)  Somehow I already know that after the baby, its going to be an up-hill battle for me to lose the baby weight.  It has never been easy for me to maintain a healthy weight which I’m satisfied with.  I’m not one of those lucky people who could eat anything and still look model gorgeous. I on the other hand have to be extremely disciplined. (Just looking at chocolate cake will make me gain a pound!)  I find myself worrying about how I will manage taking care of an infant, while still trying to cook healthy meals and exercising.  It just seems so ridiculously daunting, especially when you consider that a baby has to be fed almost every two hours.  I guess I’m just afraid that I will prioritize other things in my life over my health, thus “letting myself go,” as so many like to phrase it.  Have you ever noticed how almost every makeover contestant, or What Not To Wear nominee, is a woman struggling to make peace with her body post-pregnancy???  Well I have.  As much as Hollywood likes to portray all those mothers who look gorgeous after pregnancy, I think the average woman knows that after pregnancy her body will be different.  I for one already know that I will have stretch marks post-pregnancy. (..or tiger stripes as I read one blogger refer to them.)  As much as I would like to think that there is some miracle cream out there, somehow I know I will have to make peace with them.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that I’m pregnant, and I think all this will be worth it when I get to hold my baby boy.  Yet a part of me still wonders if I will ever see the day when I can take off my pink polka-dotted bathrobe, and feel perfectly comfortable sporting a bikini.