I just went back and read all the posts I’ve ever posted on my blog. I have not posted anything for almost a year now. It was really awesome to go back and read everything. It’s crazy how life changes things and perspectives. I’m debating whether I should start blogging again. It really is a good way to document life and get my thoughts organized. I’m not sure if I can stay consistent though. Life is crazy busy lately.
Self Worth… Who gives it to us.. and what determines it? Is it something I can give myself?? Is it determined by our talents.. our looks… our paychecks, our accomplishments??? Lately I have been thinking about my value as a person, as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a Christian, a friend, a member of society… and so on. This value is so often manipulated by the world around us.. whether it be by our relationships.. good or bad, or the media and pop-culture, which idolizes a certain type or trait. This constant shift in the degree of perceived value has me reeling at times. It causes me to grasp for something that gives me intrinsic value.. This is a worth that is given in spite of myself.. for my own sake.. or in its own right. Our society likes to flout the importance of self esteem… but I’m referring to something deeper.
It seems that more and more people are having a hard time finding the intrinsic value in life, particularly their own life. It seems I can’t go a week without hearing about a person who decides that his or her life has no more value. Suicide is rampant today, and it is hitting a younger and younger population. Not only do people not find value in their own life, when they take theirs, they often take the life of another with them. Why is it so many people find no value in life?? Life intrinsically, despite its success or failure??
Questions.. I ask many questions. I don’t have many answers. However, when I examine myself personally, I find that I am searching for worth in the wrong places. I search for it in the eyes of others. I search for it in my talents and my material possessions. Yet I often find so little self- worth there, leaving me feeling lonely, dejected and hopeless. Yet when I think even deeper.. I realized something stunning… The only place I found intrinsic value my whole life, is at the foot of the cross. There I find that despite my failures, my disappointments, I have value. I am unconditionally loved. Now I’m not here to preach. But I must say, that the only constant value I can find in life itself, is in the majesty and miracle of its creation. Thus I turn to its Creator to give me value, to show me why I live despite the evil that often surrounds me. …and when I allow myself to understand this, life becomes precious! My life is precious, purposeful, and valuable.
God help me! I want to live with this understanding as my motivation!